So here I am feeling all reflective.
Big birthday this year (30, yes I know it’s not old) and my first born (G) turns 9 this week. Within the last year I have also had a baby with a new man! Something I never envisaged happening 2 years ago.
Baby (H) was born at home and was an exceptionally magical and powerful experience. This has brought me all reflective as 9 years ago my mindset was very much “everyone should birth in hospital. These stupid home birthers are putting their and their babies lives at risk!” Fast forward 9 years and that view has disappeared completely.
I have overcome lots of hurdles over the last 9 years. A bad bout of postnatal depression after G’s birth and then 3 years, and a daughter (N) later I split with their father and we were up and down with our relationship for years later. About 2.5 years ago we finally decided that it wasn’t to be and everything was split amicably. Not long after the new man (R) walked into my life. I REALLY wasn’t looking for a new relationship and tried to avoid my feelings for a lot of months. Luckily (or unluckily maybe ;)) he persisted and within 6 months I found myself pregnant! I can’t begin to tell you how much of a shock this was to the system! It truly seems as though H was sent for a reason and he never ceases to prove this to me.
So my views have changed. With G I breasted him for 3 weeks not knowing what was normal patterns and I believed that formula is necessary at some point and those who feed babies longer than a few months were “bizarre” and “only doing it for themselves”. H Will breast feed as long as he wants. It would seem I have gone from trusting everyone and everything, formula feeding, hospital birth on my back doing as I was told, vaccinating, medicating. To home birthing, home educating, breast feeding, doula, questioning everyone and everything, not/delaying vaccination and using alternative things. Some say I’ve turned hippy!
It’s taken a lot of strength and soul searching to reach these changes but I can now say I am trusting my instincts and feel so much better.
I always tell people to trust their instincts as they are never wrong! No matter what choices we make we always make decisions as we see fit at the time. I have no regrets as after all life is just a journey.