Just a quick note on “being superwoman”.
Society puts so much pressure on women especially mothers to do everything and be superwoman and it’s not possible. But perhaps women just are superwomen by doing everyday tasks. We’re expected to work or expected to run a home or expected to raise children and yet, still, men don’t seem to have that same pressure. The pressure we can be under can cause all sorts of anxiety, panic, stress, depression, it can be really overwhelming at times
The feelings and emotions that can be felt, as we have all this tasks and expectations upon us, are normal responses to all this. They are normal responses to having too much pressure. The theory of fight, flight, freeze can explain some of this, this is (on a basic level) where the body prepares to run from or to fight a threat/ a stress to our wellbeing. It sounds odd that we should have these feelings whilst doing what is deemed everyday tasks and it is odd. This should not be happening and yet so many do feel these things, which can then have an impact on negative self talk, thoughts of not being good enough. In my experiences these thoughts are really common amongst parents and somewhat more so within women. (But the latter could just be because of where I specialise in support).
We do not have to put up with this. There’s lots of talks about resilience, resilience to things that happen to us in life, but we don’t have to be resilient to things that cause us such stresses. We don’t have to try to be “superwoman”. We already are. If something is causing some stress or a negative feeling, something just doesn’t feel ok, then it may be time to reassess whether this has to be in your life. Some tasks don’t bring joy but need doing and that’s ok, it can be a balance.
The word “No” is something I’m learning well lately. It’s a full sentence of its own and lays boundaries, boundaries are important to own self wellbeing. It’s ok to say No, it’s ok to be selfish. It’s actually healthy to prioritise self wellbeing. Of course I’m not saying to neglect your children, there’s a balance there. There is the old saying that reminds of the instruction that is said on airplanes to put own oxygen mask on before a child’s. This is because if you aren’t well, you can’t help a child. Same goes in life really. You matter! Look at your own self care, your boundaries and what brings joy to you.
Seeking to be superwoman is no good, because you already are.
