Welcome to our written pregnancy and parenting blog.
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Here you will find mumblings, thoughts and even rants on all things pregnancy, labour, birth, postnatal and parenting. Usually written by our founder this blog will be about things of interest that we come across.
You can even ask us to write a post on a specific thing, as long as it’s connected to pregnancy, birth or parenting. We hope you find things of an interest.
This is a conversation that remains ongoing.
Women feel worried they may be confronted.
Some people think you should be “discreet” and others think it should only be done at home.
Heres some points:
1️⃣ It’s actually illegal to ask someone to stop breastfeeding in a public place.
2️⃣ Breastfeeding is simply eating or drinking, just like anyone else. The reason we have boobs and nipples is, evolutionary, to feed babies.
3️⃣Society has shifted and most people aren’t bothered.
4️⃣ For most, very little boob is on show and if there is, it’ll be the most comfortable and easiest for mum and baby.
5️⃣ If someone is offended by you breastfeeding, they can’t legally tell you to stop/ ask you to move. Breastfeeding in public is protected by law.
Have you felt concerned breastfeeding in public? Had a positive or negative experience? Join our social media conversations.
Speak to one of our specialist team if you’d like any support
Did you know that follow on milks aren’t necessary?
In the UK we have laws for the marketing of formula milk. Back in the 1950’s/60’s the marketing of baby formula milk became quite aggressive and with false claims. This happened worldwide and caused babies to starve in poorer areas and countries. The World Health Organisation with UNICEF decided to develop guidance around best practice in an attempt to lower risks. Many countries decided to implement this, or at least part of, as law. In the UK, Formula milk for under 6 months old cannot be advertised.
So, the baby formula manufacturers invented follow on milks so they could get around this and improve profits. With some clever marketing slogans over decades many believe follow on milk is needed to keep up with increased nutritional needs. This is, simply, untrue.
First stage formula is all a baby should need until around 6 months (when not breastfeeding). At around 6 months the current WHO and NHS recommendations are to begin to introduce usual family foods. Follow on milks do not hold any more benefit than regular formula milk and introduction of family foods post 6 months.
Follow on milks are a marketing tool. They aren’t necessary or any better that first stage milks.
* NOTE: This article is not offering medical advice and is based on healthy babies. Please speaker to your GP and/or health visitor if you have any concerns around the nutritional intake of your baby. Our peer supporters and doulas can help with infant feeding support
Bit of background here… I have been involved in infant feeding support and education for around 16 years now. I am very passionate about adequate support for breastfeeding for the whole family.
In this time I’ve seen just about every scenario. Our model of support at Snowdrop Doula CIC triples the chance of breastfeeding at 6weeks and 6months.
In my practice I started off sharing all the benefits of breastfeeding. This felt important then as I believed parents to be were unaware of the evidence.
I now believe this is likely to do more harm than good. Here’s some of why I now think this.
We now have a lot more advertising and campaigns for the benefits of breastfeeding. It is no where near enough or even the right way but it exists, nonetheless.
We see formula advertising talking about how breastfeeding is best and how their milk is trying to replicate it. These ads are seen by everyone and so that message does get heard. (Yes, there’s very clever marketing in that so you buy their product but the message remains). Seeing these adverts does put a simple message in a person’s mind that breastmilk has properties that formula can’t ever replicate, because they are saying how they are trying to replicate breast milk, “over 50 years of breast milk research”, etc.
Depending upon the area you live there are various NHS campaigns as to the benefits and “breast is best”. This helps to cement what we have already seen on TV. In addition to this, midwives and antenatal information given includes the benefits too. I am not naïve to think this is consistent in areas nor optimal. It is not. Still more should and could be done.
This all contributes to a basis in messaging via advertisements of breastmilk being optimal for health of both mother and baby. It would be rare for a pregnant woman to not have seen any of this or for conversations with family and peers have happened.
In this article I am concentrating on why I no longer talk about benefits in a class setting. Parents who attend antenatal classes have a tendency to have already been seeking information on birth and feeding. They have often seen the information in that breast milk has more beneficial properties than formula milk before signing up for the class. In a class setting I have usually just repeated this. In talking about specific details parents have been surprised by the amount of benefits but the basic message of breast milk having properties formula does not have is not new information.
A note here; is wise not to make assumptions here, however, not everyone attending classes has read anything else and are coming to classes for the point to learn.
I’ve found, often, in breastfeeding support circles there’s a judgement that parents who formula feed just haven’t done their research and/or don’t care. When’re this may be true of some it is quite rare. There are many reasons a person chooses to formula feed. Rarely due to not understanding the benefits of breastfeeding.
Guilt. It is a very powerful emotion that can affect anyone. I have seen this as a common theme within postnatal depression, the feeling of not being good enough and failing at what should come naturally. Very common comments when talking about these feelings include “and I couldn’t even breastfeed, I know it’s the best, and I couldn’t even do what’s best.” Everytime I hear this I become upset at what kind of messaging society is giving where a woman is feeling such despair. Surely something should change here.
What benefit is there to knowing all the benefits but then not being able to breastfeed, for whatever reason? In my experience, all it does is trigger negative feelings and beliefs on the woman’s ability to parent. That is not good.
With some studies suggesting over 80% of women do not breastfeed as long as they want to this impacts far more woman than it should.
It doesn’t actually improve chances of breastfeeding. The problems are more to do with expectations of feeding and life with a newborn. Knowing the benefits rarely suddenly makes a woman suddenly decide to breastfeed. In some circumstances they may so, “oh I didn’t know that, I may try to give some now”, but, in my experience of working with families from all sections of society, this does not have a huge impact.
On balancing the positives of potentially helping someone to breastfeed who may not otherwise against the guilt inducing if not breastfeeding, it does not appear to be worth it. Instead, I use the time to discuss infant feeding as a whole, how breastfeeding works, how formula feeding works, the common problems and how to help overcome, and answer questions. With this giving a caveat that it can be difficult and it’s not for all. If parents ask for the information I will give it, but I’m not discussing as a general topic. I’ve seen too much harm with very little, if any, benefit.
I am aware that in some circles this is quite a controversial viewpoint but I’d ask is it worth it? Is it improving breastfeeding rates? Does it help with wellbeing? If no, then why are we doing it?
We get a lot of questions about counselling and psychotherapy as people seek therapy support. Some of the common ones are..
How does counselling work?
I’m worried about delving into my fears and worries. Do I need to?
I have had counselling before and it didn’t work. How do I know it will this time?
This short video aims to address some of these questions.
Our counselling service may help you. Do get in contact if you would like more information or to book some sessions.
We’ve produced a small catalogue for our ALBI scheme. This scheme is to help families in Lancashire afford larger baby items with the increased cost of living. There is a referral process but this scheme is to help those who may not otherwise be able to access support. Get in contact.
This lightweight buggy is suitable for older babies and toddlers. Part of our ALBI scheme to help parents with the cost of living with affordable baby items.
Have you found our YouTube channel yet? There’s a new video dropped looking briefly at postnatal depression and antenatal depression.
Postnatal depression is thought to affect around 1 in 5 new mums. The symptoms can be quite distressing for many. Here’s a new video with some self help tips for postnatal depression, antenatal depression, perinatal depression.
Support can be found here.
We have changed our logo to better represent who we are, and what we do to support women and families.
Here’s a video.
Here’s some research on the use of Doulas in an area of high deprivation.
Am I allowed a home birth?
Am I allowed to choose a caesarean?
Can I choose to not have vaginal exams?
Can I decide to not have blood tests/ scans?
Do I have to have a midwife?
These are some of the many questions asked when it comes to pregnancy, birth and parenting. The short answer to these questions is that it is always your choice what to do with your body. The only legal requirement is to notify of the birth of the baby (and any death). Anything else is a personal choice that noone can, legally, coerce you into.
However, you may be met with various levels of resistance and threats should anything be “out of medical advice”. This can sometimes be difficult but if you are aware of your rights these issues can be quickly dealt with.
You may be told that social services will be contacted and for the most part they do not tend to take any further intervention.
You may be told things such as your baby will die. This usually comes from a place of fear. If such scary things are suggested it is worth looking up the reality of this for your situation. “Doubling the risk” may still remain at 2% chance.
The most important thing is that you feel safe, are safe and are aware of the risks and benefits of all options, making for a truly informed choice.
If you feel you are wanting to choose something that someone else if making difficult for you then you can contact us and we may to able to support you. You can also contact organisations such as Birthrights for legal questions and support.
